I am a Hair Stylist from the Lone Star State. I have an occasional Fiance named Jay and a Chiweenie named Bailey.
Most recently, I have found myself pregnant. This is my pregnancy story. From those first two pink lines, to doctor appointments, to nursery decorating, and all the little crazy, fabulous, absolutely wonderful moments in between.
Good Times. Bad Times. Tears. Love. Hope. Belief. It's all here.
Mother - Obviously my mother.
G RADD - My 17 year old brother.
Jay - The Man that asked me to marry him, got me pregnant, bailed, and came back.
Mr. Flyy - My best friend, love of my life, my rock.
Alsi - My best friend from HS and beyond.
L - Alsi's 35 year old boyfriend.
My sister (A)- My wonderful sister.
Dip Sh*t - My sister's 18 year old, drug addicted boy friend.
On searching for Babies R Us, the choice of 3 possible locations in 3 different shopping centers..
Me: I am 34% sure that it is in this one over here.
Mom: That's funny Sam, 34% instead of 33.3%
Mom: 33.3 + 33.3 + 33.3 is 100% or 33 + 33 + 34 = 100%
Me: Wow. That's amazing. I just said a random number. Wow.
Mom: You can't be serious?
Me: Oh, I am, believe me.
On Motel Bibles..
Me: I wonder how Bibles get here.
Mom: I'm not sure.
Me: It says placed by the Gideons. I bet they go around and just leave bibles everywhere. That would be awesome.
Mom: No Sam, they make the Bibles. I worry about you child.
Me: Googled Information are read aloud - Gideons
International is a Christian organization dedicated to distributing copies of the Bible in over 80 languages and 190 countries, most famously in motel and hotel rooms.
Mom: Shut up and go to bed.
Me: Brilliance in insanity. It's greatness.
Mom: You love when you are right, go to bed.
Me: How come you never wann talk about it when i say ridiculous stuff and I'm RIGHT.
Mom: Rolls over on her bed to face the wall.
Telling G RADD a Story
Me: Omg Guess what?!
G Radd: What?
Me: I was driving the other day, and I saw a bike cop. I freaked out bc I was speeding so I slowed down.
G Radd: Did you get a ticket?
Me: No, It was only a old man on a scooter wearing a white helmet.
G Radd: You are special kid.
Pregnancy Just Keeps Gettin' Sexier. Not.
Prenatal Vitamins make me sicker than morning sickness - Take 2 Flinestone Vitamins daily. They will save your life. Amen.
Anyone say Hemmeroids? - Preperation H wipes are amazing. Buy them. In bulk. ALSO! Benefiber. Put it in your OJ, you will thank me.
I feel just sick to my stomach after I eat. Its miserable - Buy Wild Cherry TUMS (They tase like cherry Star Bursts YUM!), they are next to the Preperation H wipes. Coincidence? I think not.